Columns
Morning Glory #6: To be
Or Not To Be - The Plight Of A Smark
Smart. Mark. Workrate. Over.
Jobber. Just five years ago, I had no clue what these words meant. I’ve known that
wrestling is ‘fixed’ since I started watching, back in 1991, at the age of
seven. I mean, some things are pretty obvious, even to a seven year old. However, that
didn’t mean that I enjoyed it any less. So in 1997, I had no clue that Bret Hart and
Shawn Michaels hated each other for real; I didn’t know that Hulk Hogan held others
back; and I didn’t know that Kevin Nash was a bad worker. All that changed, once I
got the internet, in late 1998. It didn’t change right away. I first used the
internet for different means; looking on the WCW and WWE official sites at RAW and Nitro
results early, to decide which to watch on a Friday night. I’d stare at the Sable
pics on the WWE’s official site like a true 14 year old guy. I’d look back at
old Nitro results, trying to find out exactly where The Flock formed. I became a full-on
‘smart internet fan’ when I discovered RajahWWF.com in May 1999, just before
‘Over The Edge’. ‘Pete’ or ‘Kayfabe’ as he was then known
was previewing the PPV, saying that it was likely Taker would win the title, due to his
push as the ‘top heel’. That day, I searched through the Rajah FAQ, and read
about the Montreal Incident, and other ‘smarky’ stuff. My knowledge was
expanded, I suddenly became aware of things that I hadn’t been before, and I was a
true mark no longer. And now my debate begins, within myself; is it better to be a smark,
or a simple mark?
I began watching wrestling in 1991, Survivor Series to be exact. My Aunt used to tape it
for me, cos she had Sky and we didn’t, and when she came round on a Sunday, she used
to give me and my brother WWE stickers, and we’d watch the tapes. As a mark, watching
in the early 1990’s, I obviously had some ‘smart’ tendencies then. I loved
Jake Roberts, and Ric Flair, and Ted Dibiase. Bret Hart was a favourite of mine right
away, and I hated the Natural Disasters cos they were two fat, slow, ugly guys. Of course,
in other ways I was a complete mark; I cheered loudly for Hogan, at the age of nine I was
upset by Undertaker’s ‘death’ in the Royal Rumble 1994 casket match, and
went apeshit when he returned to defeat the evil Undertaker at Summerslam the same year. I
loved gimmicky things like Doink, and I got a serious kick out of Lex Luger’s
‘Real American’ push, getting into trouble for screaming when Luger didn’t
win the title at Wrestlemania X and at Summerslam 1993. Of course, you may say that this
wasn’t a sign of me being a mark, but my age. I mean, what naïve 9 year old
WOULDN’T cheer for Luger, when the announcers were shoving him down everyone’s
throat as an ‘American Hero’? But, things began to change with my age. For going
into 1996, I’d seriously bored of wrestling. I didn’t miss a PPV (the ones that
were available to us Brits, ie the ‘big five’) still, but my interest certainly
dwindled.
For some reason, I didn’t get a kick out of the cartoonish gimmicks any more; and at
the beginning of 1996, when my family got Sky, I wouldn’t even watch the
‘Superstars’ show. My wrestling interest faded, although I still enjoyed
throwing my brother and my friends around, and made sure I watched the Royal Rumble. But
it didn’t seem ‘cool’ to watch wrestling any more; to watch a ‘fake
sport’ with characters like Tatanka, and other dodgy gimmicks, just seemed sad.
However, that changed again, in early 1997. I first got back into wrestling by watching
WCW Nitro, and the heel Hulk Hogan. One of my schoolfriends told me to “watch it cos
they fight with baseball bats all the time!”, so I did. And I was hooked again, as I
saw all my old WWE heroes on the show. But RAW, being on later at night, looked a more
attractive prospect. And on RAW, I saw my old favourite Bret Hart, reunited with his
estranged brother Owen, his old partner Jim Neidhart, the British Bulldog, and Brian
Pillman, fighting off ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin. I hated Austin for fighting
with my hero Bret, but I became immediately hooked by this new style of WWE. It was more
grown up, more violent, and less cartoony. And at the same time, more of my schoolfriends
began to watch the WWE. This trend continued through the Attitude era, into 1998, when
class conversations asked whether Austin would defeat Undertaker at the Highway To Hell,
whether Kane was actually working with Undertaker, and whether Mankind would figure into
it. We’d discuss who was fitter; Sable or Debra, and how good the ‘evening
gown’ match on RAW was.
But, like all fads, the wrestling infatuation soon faded again, and by 2000, myself and a
few others were once again the lone wrestling fans in school. We were like outlaws by this
point; nobody even dared speak about wrestling, because the same guys that had watched it
the years before now ridiculed us for watching it. I tried to convince the guys that
wrestling WAS still cool, but they didn’t believe me. They’d grown out of seeing
Sable half-naked…why watch wrestling for that, when they could get a porno or watch
Channel Five? They’d grown out of seeing Steve Austin flip his middle finger, or
seeing someone get bloodied. We were now 15….other things came to the forefront, and
wrestling lost fans. But by this point, I was a fully fledged internet fan, and I
didn’t care. I didn’t need to talk about how good RAW was, when I could just
read a few columns, or check RajahWWF for rumours, or (by late 2001) talk to others on
AOLIM about the sport.
But after that mini-life story, my question still remains. Is it better to be a smark, or
a mark? Is it better to hate HHH for holding Jericho down, or for being a badass heel? Is
it better to like Undertaker because he’s a cool badass who rarely loses, or is it
better to hate him for the above reason? Well, I see it from a number of different ways.
Being a mark is cool, because you don’t have a clue what’s going to happen at
the shows. For a mark, Summerslam 2002 would have been incredibly entertaining. A mark
would have been ROOTING for The Rock in the main, and they wouldn’t have known that
it was 99% likely Lesnar was going over. Imagine how much they would have awaited a Shawn
Michaels return? No mark would have thought to himself that ‘HBK vs HHH was an
egofuck for the competitors’. No mark would have complained when Taker beat Test and
raised the American flag. Life as a mark is easy. As a mark, you can be entertained by the
face going over, or a cool heel, regardless of whether it’s good for business or not.
I marked out when Taker beat up Lesnar, but it wasn’t a *full* markout. Why? Because
in the back of my smark mind, I KNOW Taker beating him is wrong for the business. I can
await HHH/RVD with baited breath, but I KNOW HHH is going over. So, am I saying being a
smark is bad?
Nope. As much downfalls as smarkism (that sounds like a revolutionary term!!) has, it of
course has it’s advantages too. I know when to avoid a show, and whether a match is
good or not. I can log onto AOLIM, and debate wrestling with some absolutely great guys.
Justin, Tim, Dave, Raine, John, Adam, and others…they’re guys I would consider
great friends of mine, and I’ve met them through being a smark. We discuss wrestling
without sounding dumb, or in any way ‘sad’. Sure, we have totally differing
opinions sometimes, but that’s cool, doesn’t everyone? There are other
advantages too. I understand what makes a good match, and also what makes a bad one. I can
vote in the Oratory favourites, or the RSPW awards. Hell, without the internet and my
knowledge of the wrestling business, you wouldn’t be reading this column today. Which
would be a bad thing, right? Right. So yes, I guess I do enjoy being an internet smark,
sometimes. Sometimes it gets frustrating, other times it’s highly enjoyable. But
which do I enjoy more? Smarkism or markism (not MARXISM..lol)?
Well to be honest, it depends on the age really. I truly believe I’ve been lucky as
far as my age and wrestling is concerned. In the early 90’s, when I was but a child,
the WWE was child-orientated, marketed for the under 12’s with the cartoonish
gimmicks, and I enjoyed it. During the Attitude era, I was 13/14, and fitted the
demographic that they were heading for; with Sable showing her tits, etcetera. And now?
Now, or pretty soon anyway (if the rumoured Lesnar/Angle WM main event goes down
especially) the WWE will have a marketing change again, and get closer than ever before to
real wrestling. So maybe it’s just a change in my age, rather than me evolving
from mark to smark. Maybe the change is a natural progression? It would make sense. I
mean…older and wiser and all that? Personally, as cool as it would be to go back to
being a mark, I don’t see the point. For to go back to being a mark, in my opinion,
would involve losing age too. I don’t think it’s a mark of knowledge, it’s
more a mark of maturity. You won’t see a 9 year old smark, just the same as you
wouldn’t see a 21 year old pure mark. It’s about getting the right mix, so the
wrestling is still entertaining, and for me, I think I have the right mix. I know all I
want to know about the business, and that’s good enough for me. I can still mark out
for guys a normal smark wouldn’t, like Kevin Nash and Undertaker, but I can
appreciate a classic technical encounter between Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle. A good mix,
and I’m cool with that.
Well, that’s that off my chest. I’m sure there’s some people that
didn’t want to know half of my ‘wrestling life story’, but for those of you
reading who actually maybe identified with my thoughts, feel free to send me some email at
scott.newman@ntlworld.com and tell me if
you agree/disagree/worship me/think I’m full of shit. I’ll be back soon, with
the second part of my ‘most underrated PPV’s ever’ column, as my
unstoppable run of consistency continues. But until then….
Get well soon Kev!
Scott Newman: scott.newman@ntlworld.com
|
