Columns
Morning Glory #7: All
You Need Is Blood
Before I begin….a quick
No Mercy recap and review for y’all….
-Booker T/Goldust vs Christian/Chris Jericho wasn’t a bad match at all, but it was
just formulaic. Booker, Christian and Jericho really need singles pushes, which is why the
death of the IC Title is so bad. When the rope snapped, I thought “fuck, there goes
this match…”, but they managed to pull it together, with Jericho hitting a sweet
moonsault for the pin. I’m guessing the planned finish was a Lionsault. I don’t
see the point in keeping the titles on Jericho and Christian though…but it’s
probably the WWE’s way of burying both men.
-Torrie vs Dawn Marie was an appalling match; and I’ll say it again. If the women can
wrestle, like Trish and Victoria did, let them wrestle. That’s cool. But if they just
plain can’t, like these two, give the fans what they want to see, in a T&A-match.
I mean, this was just so pointless it’s untrue. Dawn Marie is hott though; my fave
diva while Lita is gone; and Al Wilson is both a lucky guy, and a really funny character.
-RVD vs Ric Flair sucked, and I’m beginning to get a strong dislike for both men.
Flair is old, stale, and has turned so many times in a short period that you may call him
the Total Package. Van Dam is shite on the mic, does the same moves EVERY SINGLE MATCH,
and if I hear one more person tell me he’s ‘not allowed to do his ECW
moves’ I will scream. Can’t spell overrated without ‘RVD’. Ugh.
-Noble vs Tajiri was a throwaway segment, and the cruiser division is just dying under
Noble’s reign as champion. Don’t get me wrong…I like Noble as a character-
he’s one of my personal faves as it goes- but he doesn’t wrestle like a
cruiserweight. When the fans think of cruisers, they think ‘high-flying Mexican-style
stuff’, not a smaller heavyweight. Noble is basically Crash Holly with a better
character and workrate. Not the type of guy I’d want representing the cruiser
division. Either move Rey into the division, or let Moore, Helms, and the other
high-flyers do their stuff. Noble could do OK as a low mid-carder in the heavyweight
ranks; kinda like Kidman should, if the WWE would push him….
-Kane vs HHH was a shitty little match, with a shocking (as in bad) finish, with a shitty
build, and shitty run ins. Hopefully they drop this soap opera crap before it goes any
further, cos they’re seriously gonna alienate the fanbase who actually like wrestling
(or brawling for that matter). As for HHH, something hit me about him earlier; the guy
never loses, like everyone says; but maybe that’s the big plan. Make HHH so
unstoppable, and never have him lose, until every single fan is totally sick of him; then
whoever actually beats him (assuming this IS what they’re doing) will be
mad-crazy-over. HHH still can’t do a great match like he used to mind you…
-The Smackdown Tag Title match was just excellent; easily the best tag match from the WWE
since the classic Benoit/Jericho/HHH/Austin of last year. Benoit and Angle are incredible,
as we all know, and Rey and Edge aren’t exactly slackers either. Edge is starting to
grow on me; but until he can really get the fans into the middle parts of his matches, he
won’t be full main event. Who knows, maybe he’d be better off as a heel.
It’s like the fans pop for his entrance, die in the middle of the match, and then get
loud for his awesome finishing sequences. Obviously this wasn’t a problem here, as
Benoit and Angle were awesome, and Rey and Edge did some awesome spots like that
springboard off Edge frankensteiner. Some have rated this MOTY….I have my own ideas
on that. It’s definitely up there though, a MOTYC. And I can definitely see my
Angle/Benoit theory (both men turn face due to mutual respect, and then do a feud with the
Guerreros before they go after Lesnar) happening.
-Trish vs Victoria was a decent women’s match; no more, no less, and the wrong person
went over. Wake me when Lita’s back.
-And the main event? Well, it’s what this column is all about….read on!
Over the last few weeks, internet fans have begun to take a serious dislike for The
Undertaker. Men like our very own John C. have began to despise the Deadman, for good
reason too. He’s squashed Matt Hardy every other show, he’s popped up like 10
times on some editions of Smackdown, he hasn’t been exactly good in the ring, and the
angles used to sell his match with Brock this month (Taker’s affair with Traci, and
his broken hand) have been pretty poor. Taker’s character isn’t as fresh as the
one he used when playing a heel, and even a total mark for the guy such as myself can say
that he’s been getting pretty boring over the last few weeks, since Unforgiven. But
last night, Undertaker did for Brock Lesnar’s career what Mick Foley did for Triple
H’s (in the MSG Streetfight, Royal Rumble 2000 to be exact). Taker did the right
thing, laid down for Lesnar, and put him over more than Hulk Hogan and The Rock did in
Lesnar’s short career. Why do I feel this way? Believe it or not, it’s quite
simple, and it’s not blind-Taker-love.
Now, back in early 2000, Triple H was being shoved down everyone’s throats, and he
was seriously struggling to get over. He’d been given relatively clean wins over
Steve Austin and The Rock, he was a 3 time WWE champion, and he’d also married
Stephanie McMahon. Obviously, HHH was getting over as a heel, but he needed something to
push him over the edge. The Streetfight with Mick Foley at Madison Square Garden, Royal
Rumble 2000 was that very thing. Foley returned to his ‘Cactus Jack’ persona,
one which was renowned for crazy brawling, and had beaten HHH in a streetfight before, so
the match immediately brought a lot of interest to the PPV. Many people didn’t expect
a decent match, and a lot also thought that Cactus may go over, setting up a face/face
showdown with The Rock for Foley’s dream Wrestlemania main event. However, what they
got was something different, something incredible. Triple H defeated Foley in the
streetfight; in Foley’s own match. He took an incredible beating, bleeding like crazy
from his head and his leg, and gave as much back to Foley, finishing him with a sick
Pedigree onto thumbtacks. After the match, near enough everyone saw HHH as more than just
an over-pushed steroid maniac. They saw him as an incredible brawler, a man who could take
as much punishment as anyone. The Game was born.
It’s pretty easy to compare Brock Lesnar of 2002 to Triple H of 1999-2000. Both men
were/are strongly pushed as heels, and debatably given the WWE title before they deserved
it. Both men were not exactly as over as you’d hope a top heel would be. Both men
were given clean wins (or relatively clean in HHH’s case) over topline faces; in
HHH’s case it was Steve Austin and The Rock, in Lesnar’s case Hulk Hogan and The
Rock. Lesnar, like HHH in early 2000, is over, but needed something bigger than a clean
win over The Rock to push him over the edge. And last night at No Mercy, I believe Lesnar
got the thing that he needed. Lesnar went over The Undertaker in Hell In A Cell;
Taker’s own match, just as the Streetfight was Foley’s own match. Just as HHH
came out of the Streetfight looking incredibly strong as a brawler, so does Lesnar. He
took all that Taker had to offer, and gave back a lot worse, and in the end, came out
looking like probably the strongest WWE champion since HHH’s 2000 run. But, you say,
what about the non-finish that happened at Unforgiven?
Well, I believe that if anything, that match added to what became in Hell In A Cell. The
match at Unforgiven was simply a nasty brawl, between two men trying to prove that they
were the toughest man in the ‘yard’. Neither man came out on top, and if
anything, Undertaker looked stronger. This meant that when Brock won Hell In A Cell, it
showed how tough he really is. Brock took a beating from Taker at Unforgiven, but escaped
with his title, then had the guts to step back in with Taker, in Taker’s own match,
and fight even harder than before to defeat him.
”Hang on Scott…..didn’t you write a column a while back, explaining why
you think Taker should win this feud?”
Yes, I did. And a lot of people took it out of context. You see, most readers saw it as me
saying that Taker should win the feud to let the good guy come out on top and give the
fans a happy ending. That wasn’t true. What I meant was that in the context of
the feud (Taker defending the honor of his pregnant wife), he should go over. By giving
the fans an emotional tie like that, when the face loses, the fans go home disappointed.
Maybe the WWE read the column (most likely not), but they obviously changed it this month,
and by running firstly the crappy, not-something-fans-attach-to adultery angle, and then
the simple ‘broken hand’ angle, the emotional ties were gone. Unlike last month,
where the mark in me wanted the hero to win, and ride off into the sunset victorious, this
time I just wanted to see a nice, brutal, violent match. And the match lived up to every
one of my expectations.
The first 15 or so minutes of the match basically consisted of Taker going to town on
Lesnar with the cast, and busting open both Brock, and Heyman on the outside(!). Lesnar
soon came back though, and from there on, the match was all his. He brutalized Taker,
eventually hitting him with the steel steps. My dad and me, watching the match, just
looked shocked at this, as Taker was bleeding like hell, blood POURING from his head. I
think he may have been bleeding hardway, but I’m not too sure. The finishing sequence
was also incredible, as Lesnar kicked out of both a chokeslam, AND the Last Ride (becoming
the first man to ever do so I believe), then reversing the Tombstone into the F5 for the
clean victory. After the match, Lesnar climbed the cell with the belt, and celebrated on
the roof, as Taker was left bleeding in the ring, an incredible visual. As Lesnar stood on
the cell, it was obvious to me anyway that this match was his ‘Foley MSG
Streetfight’. The match was the bloodiest match I’ve ever seen, and in the end,
Lesnar came out looking a hell of a lot stronger than when he defeated a washed-up Hulk
Hogan, or a preening movie-star Rock. Lesnar had defeated the ‘Big Dog’, and
taken over the yard. And as well as that, the match had saved the Hell In A Cell legacy.
No ‘big bump’ was needed here. The match was simply as brutal as hell, and gave
me a flashback to the original Hell In A Cell match with Taker and Shawn Michaels.
It’s probably my second favourite Hell In A Cell behind the first one, and
what’s more than that…thousands will disagree, but to me it’s the
undisputed Match of the Year. Just goes to show…if in doubt….all you need is
blood.
Hope you enjoyed my little ranting, and as always you can send all feedback to scott.newman@ntlworld.com. Also, I urge you to
visit my buddy Justin T’s new tape trading site Double DQ Tapes. It’s a really easy site to
navigate around, there’s a quality range of tapes to choose from, and there’s
also a really cool ‘loyalty points’ deal.
Until next time…
Get well soon Kev!
Scott Newman- scott.newman@ntlworld.com
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