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Morning Glory RCC:
Rebellion 2001 Review
After a little absence, I'M
BACK. I don’t usually get the Sky Box Office PPVs, but Rebellion seemed to have a
decent card, so I decided to give it a try. After all, even if it was shit, it’s only
£14, not $30, right?
PYRO! PYRO! PYRO! As Rebellion 2001, live from Manchester, kicks off! And what a way to
begin, one of the main matches……
MATCH 1: EDGE vs. CHRISTIAN (Steel Cage match)
This was a damn good match, especially for a cage match. Usually cage matches are just
‘climb, knock down, and climb’ and so on. But this had great wrestling, good
reversals, and was generally a great match. Line of the night from JR: “Edge is
spending more time on the canvas than Rembrandt”. Anyway, Edge ties Christian’s
feet to the cage, then climbs up and over for the win. ***3/4 easy.
We see Hugh Morrus and Chavo Guerrero perving on Trish in the back. Good for them! She is
topless, but sadly we don’t see anything.
MATCH 2: THE HURRICANE vs. SCOTTY 2 HOTTY
Again a good match, and a MASSIVE, MASSIVE pop for Hurricane. He is way over here in
England. Scotty is over, but Hurricane was getting all the pops, and a few
“Hurricane!” chants were breaking out all through the match. Hurricane shows
some great moves here, including a Straitjacket Camel Clutch. At one point Hurricane even
went for a chokeslam, which was a great moment. God he is funny in this role. Anyway,
sadly Scotty goes over with the Worm. That’s just not right, but still, a great
match. ***1/2
Chavo and Hugh are now perving on Lita. NICE SHOTS here, but not really enough……
DDP gives an interview on why the English fans are depressed. I love his character right
now, even if he is getting jobbed out.
MATCH 3: DDP vs. BIG SHOW
Show gets a massive pop for some reason, some of us Brits are stupid I guess, but the
match isn’t that bad, as Show goes medieval to start, but DDP takes over with offence
to the knee, which Show actually sells! He also takes a GREAT Diamond Cutter. DDP
can’t get the pin though, so Show simply chokeslams him for the pin. No problems
here, Show wasn’t bad at all. After the match DDP says “That wasn’t a bad
thing, it was a good thing, cos now I can get the hell out of this country!”. **1/2
Chavo and Hugh walk in on a fully clothed Molly Holly. Wonder which one of them is gonna
hold the lead?
We see Kurt Angle, Stone Cold, Shane and Debra speaking in a darkened room. Austin
generally takes the piss out of Angle after he rants about the Knights of the Round Table,
God they are so funny together. Eventually Austin flips. “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?”.
One problem- WHERE IS STEPH!!!!!!!!
MATCH 4: DUDLEY BOYZ vs. HARDY BOYZ vs. APA
God, this sucks. The match isn’t bad at all, but after the APA get eliminated early,
we are down to Hardyz/Dudleyz, which we’ve seen all before. BORING. Funny thing-
Heyman calls the APA ‘drunks’. Jeff misses the Swanton, and Dudleyz hit 3D for
the pin on Matt. Dudleyz are way over as faces BTW. Are the crowd gonna boo ANYONE
tonight? Even Christian got a mild pop! *1/2
We get a recap of the Rock/Jericho feud, and we see Smackdown when Rocky hit two Rock
Bottoms on Jericho. I think Rocky is doing this heelish stuff so it’ll be surprising
when Jericho finally turns. They did the same before WM, with Rock threatening to go heel
on Austin.
Vince forces Rock and Y2J to shake hands. Jericho makes fun of Rock ‘losing the big
one’, so Rock attacks him and they brawl, before it’s broken up by the refs.
What a feud.
MATCH 5: WILLIAM REGAL vs. TAJIRI
Regal’s music sucks. It sounds like a cheap rip off of some James Bond stuff. Regal
makes fun of David Beckham and Manchester United to get some good heel heat. The match is
pretty good, as the styles mesh better than I expected. Tajiri’s kicks are absolutely
LETHAL. Regal actually gets the win with the Stretch, but Tajiri mists him and hits the
KICK OF DEATH afterwards. **
Kurt Angle makes fun of Y2J and England in an interview.
MATCH 6: KURT ANGLE vs. CHRIS JERICHO
Haven’t seen this one in a while. Angle gets a lot of heat, and also seems to have
hit the gym, looking bigger than ever. Jericho gets a monster pop, and also looks massive.
He’s obviously joined Angle in the gym. This match is AWESOME. Jericho is THE MAN
right now, and it can’t hurt facing someone as good as Angle. Jericho seems to have
added some more moves into his set like a Frankensteiner and a shoulderbreaker. Jericho
works on the shoulder throughout, but I’m not sure why as it’d make sense for
Jericho to attack the lower back to set up for the Walls. Angle has to stop using the
Rolling Germans, as they should be FOR THE USE OF CHRIS BENOIT ONLY, as they are one of
Benoit’s main trademark moves. Ankle lock is reversed to the Walls, but Angle makes
the ropes. Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Jericho reverses to a roll up for the pin.
Great match, probably best of the night. ****1/2
Angle attacks after the bell and hits the Angle Slam to monster heel heat. Twice.
Usual Rock interview, Strudel shit and all that. He makes me sick.
MATCH 7: TORRIE & LITA vs. STACY & TRISH
All the divas get a monster pop, apart from Molly. Cause she is a DOG and all. I
couldn’t give a shit if she can wrestle, she shouldn’t be on my TV. Stacy’s
music reminds me of the beginning guitar riff in DX’s. Torrie is the hottest in this
match by far. Not on Steph levels, but there you go. Lita is more over than the Hardyz.
Shows you that being faggots gets you nowhere when you have a woman who shows a thong.
Usual shitty woman’s match, with minimum T&A. These women can’t wrestle, so
why bother trying? Just give us T&A and be done with it. At one point Molly and Stacy
spectacularly fuck up the Camel Clutch/Boston Crab spot. Like I said, shit wrestlers. Lita
hits the SHITTY TWIST OF FATE on Stacy for the pin, and we get a Trish bulldog on Stacy at
the end. I still don’t see the fuss with Stacy. Anyway, minimum T&A + shitty
wrestling = DUD. Or * for Trish’s tits.
We get a dodgy video package of the Rock/Austin ‘feud’ since WM, which is not
really needed due to the lack of a feud anyway.
MAIN EVENT: ROCK vs. STONE COLD
This is what we’ve all been waiting for……..the WM rematch. Austin gets a
lot of heat for his entrance, and BTW his music rocks. The Rock’s pop is massive. God
some of my fellow Brits are idiots. Why pop for a selfish, loudmouth, bullying egomaniac?
Cos he raises an eyebrow? Well, I suppose it’s good enough for some people. This is
GOOD, hell, it’s Rock/Austin, but it’s not great. I mean, how can they ever top
WMX-7? Answer: They can’t. I suppose I shouldn’t complain, this is a Sky Box
Office PPV, but still……Anyway, the ref gets bumped, and in comes Kurt Angle to
clock Rock with a chair, breaking the Sharpshooter. Jericho makes the save, but Rock
thinks Jericho hit him with the chair, and beats on Y2J. Rock hits the Rock
Bottom…..broken by Angle. Rock knocks Angle out of the ring, and goes for the
People’s Elbow, but Angle prevents it again, then hits Rock with the belt. Austin
hits the stunner for the pin, and Austin and Angle celebrate with hugs, marking the first
heel win on a UK PPV since One Night Only 97, when HBK defeated the Bulldog. Good main
event, ****1/4
Well, this was a great PPV for Sky Box Office standards, I mean, you can’t really go
wrong with Rock/Austin and Y2J/Angle, but if I’m a mark I’m pissed. The channel
advertised Booker T and RVD all week, and they were nowhere to be seen, as were the
Brothers of Destruction. I mean, if you’re gonna put on a PPV, DO IT RIGHT. If
someone’s not gonna be there, DON’T ADVERTISE THEM. Otherwise thumbs up.
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