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Morning Glory RCC: This Is A Test

Now, anyone that knows me well will know that for some reason, I am a total mark for wrestling’s big men. I mark out for Kevin Nash, and actually considered sending him a get well soon card when he was injured. My dream match is a Nash/Taker iron man match (imagine the 10 minute headlocks! [Big Grin] ) , and I loved it when Taker squashed Angle in 2000. Now, this column is not about Taker nor Nash. No, it’s about the most criminally misused wrestler in the last 5 years, and another big man that I am a total mark for. I’m talking about Andrew Martin, AKA Test.

Test came in with very little fanfare, in late 1998. He attacked HHH during a match against The Rock, nailing him with a pumphandle slam, and then joined Vince McMahon’s ‘Corporation’ stable. Test was not really given a character at this point, just being known for being a former Motley Crue bodyguard, and being called ‘The Corporation’s Hired Gun’ by Michael Cole. However, the Corporation did give Test some valuable air time and experience, and he teamed with D-Lo Brown in a ‘wild card team’ in the Tag Title match at Wrestlemania XV. Shortly after, Test, along with Ken Shamrock and The Big Show, left the Corporation as it merged with the Ministry of Darkness. The three formed the Union with Mankind, and Test’s career began to take off, as the fans warmed to him. He fought guys like the Big Bossman, enjoying a good push, until his first major angle came about. Test asked Stephanie McMahon on a date, and she accepted. This angered her brother Shane, and he and his Mean Street Posse feuded with Test for the summer, culminating in a great match at Summerslam 1999 between the two. The match was a Greenwich Streetfight, and after fighting off the Posse, Test took the victory.

This meant that Test was free of the burden of the Posse and Shane, and Shane, as a mark of respect, even turned face soon after and sided with his sister’s boyfriend. Test soon upped the stakes…jumping from ‘boyfriend’ to ‘fiancee’. The date for the wedding was set for October, until an attack by the British Bulldog scuppered that, as the WWE claimed that Steph had amnesia. I’m not honestly sure why this angle was used, to put back the wedding. If anyone knows, I would appreciate them telling me. At any rate, the date was moved to December, and at that point, it was obvious that something would go terribly wrong. Would The Undertaker return to ‘claim his bride’? Would Steph or Test say no? The WWE fanbase waited in suspense until the fateful night. In the end, the twist turned out to be Triple H having drugged Steph, and married her himself. This, so everybody thought, would be Test’s big break. It wouldn’t matter if Steph turned heel and joined HHH, like the rumours were saying. Test would still get his big feud with HHH regardless. It was near enough set in stone; a totally logical reason for Test to feud with HHH, and the feud would have garnered huge heat and interest from the fans. But for some reason, it didn’t happen.

Test didn’t even attack HHH, and after Stephanie did turn heel, Test was squashed by DX and slid down the card. The WWF could have quite easily main evented Armageddon with HHH vs Test, and why they didn’t remains a mystery to me. Maybe they felt Test needed more time to develop. The conspiracy theorists will claim that HHH held Test down, feeling threatened by his presence in the upper card. Whatever the reason, Test stayed in the mid-card, until around April, when he was teamed with Albert in the heel ‘T&A’ team, managed by Trish Stratus. The WWE seriously dropped the ball here, as they had T&A playing hired thugs for the McMahon-Helmsley Faction. Not only had they totally ignored the history between Test, Steph and HHH, but they had seriously damaged his credibility. He floated around in the tag ranks, feuding with the Hardy Boyz, never really gaining any steam, before another small breakthrough in September. He was revealed as the man who called the cops to arrest HHH on RAW. But again, Test was robbed of his chance to shine. HHH squashed him on that RAW, and Test was back to tag teaming. If HHH had put Test over, or even given him a good match, Test could have split from the terrible Albert, and risen up the ranks with Trish as his manager. But once again, the WWE threw that chance away. Albert turned on Test in late 2000, sending Test face again, and this gave some hope that the Canadian would get a sizeable push. The push never came for a while though, until early 2001.

He began to get loud face reactions, and by April was rising up the card as a friend of Shane McMahon. However, just as his reactions began to get louder, and his push bigger, he was once again squashed by Triple H on RAW. I can’t even remember the reason for this squash, that was how pointless it was. And people say that HHH holds down Jericho? This marked the third time that Test’s push had been ruined, whether inadvertently or not, by a HHH squash. When the WCW Invasion began in July, Test was quickly rumoured to be joining his friend Shane’s company. As it happened, the WWE wrestlers made this decision for him, beating Test down on suspicion of working for WCW. When he returned, he did in fact make another heel turn and finally joined Shane’s Alliance, which turned out to be a good career move. Along with Rhyno and Kanyon, he was immediately pushed as one of the top members of the Alliance, feuding with Kane, Undertaker and The Rock and winning the Tag titles (with Booker T) and the US/Intercontinental title. Kane put him over cleanly at the No Mercy PPV, solidifying Test as a threat to the upper card. When the whole angle crashed to the ground in November, although Test lost the IC/US title unification match, he then gained his biggest victory yet, as he won the battle royal at Survivor Series which meant he couldn’t be fired.

This could have been the perfect angle for Test, as a guy who couldn’t be fired for a year. He could have gone face, and pissed Mr McMahon off no end, without ever being in danger of ‘being fired’. Test could have finally become the main eventer that he deserved to be. But again, the WWE dropped the ball. Test wasn’t pushed as the ‘unfireable’ rebel, instead he became a sleazy ladies man, not unlike Dean Malenko of 2000. His most memorable promo from this period came when Test hit on Trish Stratus at Vengeance, yelling that she couldn’t do anything about it. This, and his poor catchphrase (“Once you’ve had Test, forget the rest”) showed that his mic skills needed some work. The angle was dropped again, as Test went back to floating around the mid card, heatless because he had no angle. He did get a tag title shot in February, but this time jobbed to Spike Dudley and Tazz, in one of the most pointless matches I’ve ever seen on a PPV. Test did make it to the semis of the King Of The Ring, but jobbed to Brock Lesnar. This summer, Test joined the hot ‘UnAmericans’ angle, forming a stable with Lance Storm and Christian. The stable immediately got a major push, and Test is now embroiled in a feud with The Undertaker, going into a match at Summerslam. Test pinned Taker cleanly last week on RAW, which was pretty unusual for the WWE. Once again, Test is on the verge of greatness.

With each Test push that has arrived, I have been watching in anticipation, hoping that finally he will break through to the upper midcard and possibly the main events. Who deserves the push more than Test? Nobody. Test has paid his dues for nearly 5 years now, and has floated around in the mid card as long as anyone. He has all the tools to succeed, the only weak point being his mic skills. Test was a product of the WWE’s system, is big, with a good look, and can also work a good match. I recently had an online conversation with Xavier Von Erck, and when I brought up the subject of Test. I asked Xavier “Why didn’t the WWE give Brock Lesnar’s push to Test, who deserved it more?” Xavier then explained that because of Test’s past as a mid carder, it just wouldn’t work. I realised he was right, and a Brock-style push for Test wouldn’t work. However the strong push he is getting as an Un-American might. As long as Taker doesn’t squash him at Summerslam, and he gets another high-profile feud after, Test could finally get to the main events. Let’s hope the WWE don’t drop the ball again.